"The association between wealth/power and fashion is already strong, so instead of arguing against this, we should provide further details." 1) Provide a strong, direct, ARGUMENTATIVE claim about the connection between wealth/power and fashion. 2) How does one enforce the other? Give concrete examples. 3) "People interested in fashion are from both wealthy and less wealthy backgrounds." Add another stakeholder group and inform us why they would be interested in this argument. 4) Provide information on what can be learned from fashion, not just what's known about it as a form of self-expression.